My license, in dollars and cents

Hooray! Last Friday was the first payday at my new job, meaning my first payday as a newly minted licensed psychologist. I was really happy about finally getting off the Captain Awesome dole and feeling like a true participating member of our family. We weren't going hungry without my paycheck, but it is something we have both been looking forward to, naturally.

Friday morning CA checked our bank account: no direct deposit. Well, we all know that it takes time sometimes for the direct deposit to kick in. I thought that maybe I'd get a paper check for my first income installment. But by Friday evening, after checking the mailboxes at work and at home, I still hadn't received a check. Hmmm.

Saturday morning I emailed my boss, politely sending the message "WTF???" Saturday afternoon's mail brought hope: a paycheck addressed to me! Dr. M! Very exciting.

I opened my paycheck, and was flummoxed: it was a check made out to me for the princely sum of "Zero Dollars and Zero Cents". The attached printout duly noted that I had worked 80 hours over the past pay period, but maintained that my compensation for this time was "00". This could not be good.

I emailed my boss again, updating her on my growing body of evidence that there was no money coming my way. Monday morning we faxed a copy of my empty paycheck to HR, who to that point swore that I had been paid. "Check your bank account," I was told several times. "Um, dude, you haven't paid me," I replied. "Harrumph," they responded.

By Monday afternoon we were finally all in agreement: I was a pro bono psychologist. My boss ended up writing me a paper check on Wednesday so that I wouldn't have to wait another two weeks to be paid.

I'm keeping the original check, though. It is good to know that six and a half years of blood, sweat, tears, and student loans all added up to Zero Dollars and Zero Cents.