Settling in
After getting a job in early December I was pretty thrilled- this is what it has all been about! I'm licensed, I'm employed, people call me Doctor all day long- good stuff!
It is good stuff. It is. But I find myself feeling less satisfied than I thought I would be. Part of it is that this is not my dream job-- I'm working very hard for not much money, even though I do like the work. But a big part too is that feeling of stagnation.
For the past, oh, 25 years I've been working towards a goal. In school, mostly. Now it is up to me to stimulate my brain, to set myself challenges, and to not get stuck in too much of a stiff routine. The transition from grad student to just "employed" has been a surprisingly emotionally laden one.
It is true that much might also be attributed to our serious desire to move out of state and truly settle down. I think that if I knew this was to be a "career" job, I would either not have taken it or would have a different attitude towards it. But as it is, this job is a place holder for the time we remain in California. It just feels hard to be as invested in this present than I used to be in my future.
It is good stuff. It is. But I find myself feeling less satisfied than I thought I would be. Part of it is that this is not my dream job-- I'm working very hard for not much money, even though I do like the work. But a big part too is that feeling of stagnation.
For the past, oh, 25 years I've been working towards a goal. In school, mostly. Now it is up to me to stimulate my brain, to set myself challenges, and to not get stuck in too much of a stiff routine. The transition from grad student to just "employed" has been a surprisingly emotionally laden one.
It is true that much might also be attributed to our serious desire to move out of state and truly settle down. I think that if I knew this was to be a "career" job, I would either not have taken it or would have a different attitude towards it. But as it is, this job is a place holder for the time we remain in California. It just feels hard to be as invested in this present than I used to be in my future.
posted by Mollynonymous | 8:08 PM
2 Comments:
It is always hard when current circumstances prevent you from moving forward on future plans. Believe me, I know where you are coming from....
I just keep trying to tell myself that the universe has us in the place we are because we are truly not ready for that next step, and in the meantime it is fun to dream about it, and who knows, maybe end up better prepared in the long run!
As a tireless advocate of people moving to Portland...
http://www.hrc.pdx.edu/openings/unclassified/SHC002.htm
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