Stretch Pants
The reason for my prolonged silence is this: I got pregnant, and wanted to blog about being pregnant, but wanted to wait, and couldn't think of anything else to talk about. So, fyi, I am 10 weeks pregnant. Hooray!
This means, of course, that I needed new clothes. I'm not a frequent shopper, and mostly I enjoy sales, the internet, and outlet malls. My friend Dr. C and I made a maternity shopping date together in Union Square, thinking that surely in the heart of San Francisco's shopping district there would be choices galore for the expectant-yet-fashionable woman.
I might add, the day before our planned excursion I had a little free time, so I went to the Stanford Shopping Center. Do you know that no women in Palo Alto or the surrounding area of the Peninsula ever get pregnant? True story! Because there is not a single store in that mall, boutique or department store alike, that has any maternity clothing. And, if you are uncouth enough to ask a saleswoman at Macy's if they have maternity clothes, you will be rewarded with a sneer and condescending put down that will make you slink from the store feeling guilty for having had the audacity to get knocked up after four years of lawful marriage.
So: San Francisco. San Francisco Shopping Center. Concierge Desk. Nice man, who kindly told Dr. C and I that, interestingly, it is rare for San Francisco residents to procreate either, as the only stores in all of Union Square that cater to my kind are Old Navy (cheap, basic) and A Pea in the Pod (designer, very expensive), neither of which are in the SF Shopping Center. And no, none of the stores in the shopping center offer maternity clothing. In case you wondered.
We set off. Did you know, my friends, that unless you want to buy $200 designer maternity jeans (which come in actual sizes), maternity jeans only come in Small, Medium, and Large? Did you further know that I am somewhere in between a small and a medium, if I am to allow myself room to grow the extra 4lbs on my ass that the average woman gains during pregnancy? True story!
Also: Do you know that trying on maternity tops is one of the more depressing adventures in shopping a woman can have? Stuff your giant-er boobs into a printed mumu! Fun! - this is if you are at Old Navy. Or: This top is amazing! I could wear this t-shirt now, it is awesome! Oh, it is also $85. - also true-- I tried on this great black shirt at A Pea in the Pod that Dr. C totally wanted for herself, despite being totally un-pregnant. I did not buy it, although I dream about it sometimes, minus the price tag.
The final insult is that, naturally, as I am a wee person, I had to get everything hemmed. This put the final tab up another $100. The tailor's grandson was there in the store when I got the price quote for trimming my bounty to wearable length, and his reaction was priceless.
This means, of course, that I needed new clothes. I'm not a frequent shopper, and mostly I enjoy sales, the internet, and outlet malls. My friend Dr. C and I made a maternity shopping date together in Union Square, thinking that surely in the heart of San Francisco's shopping district there would be choices galore for the expectant-yet-fashionable woman.
I might add, the day before our planned excursion I had a little free time, so I went to the Stanford Shopping Center. Do you know that no women in Palo Alto or the surrounding area of the Peninsula ever get pregnant? True story! Because there is not a single store in that mall, boutique or department store alike, that has any maternity clothing. And, if you are uncouth enough to ask a saleswoman at Macy's if they have maternity clothes, you will be rewarded with a sneer and condescending put down that will make you slink from the store feeling guilty for having had the audacity to get knocked up after four years of lawful marriage.
So: San Francisco. San Francisco Shopping Center. Concierge Desk. Nice man, who kindly told Dr. C and I that, interestingly, it is rare for San Francisco residents to procreate either, as the only stores in all of Union Square that cater to my kind are Old Navy (cheap, basic) and A Pea in the Pod (designer, very expensive), neither of which are in the SF Shopping Center. And no, none of the stores in the shopping center offer maternity clothing. In case you wondered.
We set off. Did you know, my friends, that unless you want to buy $200 designer maternity jeans (which come in actual sizes), maternity jeans only come in Small, Medium, and Large? Did you further know that I am somewhere in between a small and a medium, if I am to allow myself room to grow the extra 4lbs on my ass that the average woman gains during pregnancy? True story!
Also: Do you know that trying on maternity tops is one of the more depressing adventures in shopping a woman can have? Stuff your giant-er boobs into a printed mumu! Fun! - this is if you are at Old Navy. Or: This top is amazing! I could wear this t-shirt now, it is awesome! Oh, it is also $85. - also true-- I tried on this great black shirt at A Pea in the Pod that Dr. C totally wanted for herself, despite being totally un-pregnant. I did not buy it, although I dream about it sometimes, minus the price tag.
The final insult is that, naturally, as I am a wee person, I had to get everything hemmed. This put the final tab up another $100. The tailor's grandson was there in the store when I got the price quote for trimming my bounty to wearable length, and his reaction was priceless.
posted by Mollynonymous | 7:28 PM
2 Comments:
Congratulations!
Have you tried Target? I know, it's probably not much better than Old Navy, but they seem to have a large maternity section in some of the more suburban stores...
Oh deary deary me, of COURSE none of the fine ladies of Palo Alto allow themselves to become anything so crass as "pregnant."
The servants do it for them.
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