Crazy Boobs

Last night I went out with some friends in the city for a farewell party for a former co-worker who is moving to the wilds of Iowa today. Poor lass. In honor of the occasion I wore a new silk shirt that my mom bought me for my birthday.

As I discovered on the ride over, while it is a very nice silk shirt in a lovely burgandy shade, it is not so good with the "staying buttoned" or "covering the boobs adequately" parts of its shirt job. In fact, if I were a shirt employer, this shirt would be fired for incompetence. If this shirt were a student, it would need to be held back a grade.

I flatter myself by thinking I made the toll booth operator's night when I paid my $4 and offered him an unencumbered view of my bosom, thanks to my developmentally disabled shirt. When I arrived, I also greeted my friend Christina with a big hug and a big view of the girls.

Enough! I begged Christina for a needle and thread, whipped off the offending garment, and sewed the critically failing portion shut. I managed to get through the rest of the evening with at least a semblance of decency. I mean, really, if I'm going to be inappropriate and lewd, I'd like to be in control of the time and place!

This is a very exciting time -- a time of plentiful and unread books!

All who have visited our home over the years have seen an almost cancerous growth of books and bookshelves in our wee world. I am of the ilk who never gives away or discards a loved book, or frequently even a liked book. I have purged our collection twice in the past two years (moving is good for that); nevertheless, the collection grows and will continue to grow at a steady rate.

Despite this, I am often without something new to read. As Captain Awesome can attest to (and a finer attesting attorney you're not likely to easily find) I frequently -- nay, constantly -- re-read my books. I've read most in my possession at least twice, and many multiple times. So it isn't as if I'm simply superficially voracious for the next big thing: I simply read quickly and unquenchably. As one of my psychologist friends aptly observed, reading is my self-regulation system.

This means that, sadly, I rarely have more than one new book in the wings at any given time, and frequently have had none. However! This is a month of miracles, in which I anticipate not re-reading a single book! Why? Because as an unemployment gift to m'self I ordered a ton. I recommend one and all, and hope you will peruse this list and find something for your own collection.

1. Alone in the Kitchen With an Eggplant- This is a very fun collection of essays written by food writers and writer-writers about cooking for one and dining alone. It is an offbeat topic, but I found it very enjoyable. Probably best if you also like food and cooking.

2. How I Learned to Cook & Other Writings on Complex Mother-Daughter Relationships- This is another collection of essays, a bit darker than the above. I originally read this because it was recommended to me by my therapist (I know, how droll). It is so good that I finally ordered a copy for myself after I returned my therapist's copy. I think any woman would enjoy reading this and find something of herself inside.

3. The Dark Tower Series- I have long been a Stephen King advocate. I think most adults pooh pooh his books out of some misguided notion that this sets them above the class of airplane-and-poolside readers that they are. In fact, he is one of the best modern writers I can think of, particularly in the way he writes his child characters. His more recent books (with the exception of Cell, which I thought was mediocre) are particularly textured and poignant, to my mind. Long story short, I decided that my free time could be worse spent than by reading this seven-part series. I'm in the middle of book 4 (the middle of the series, now that I think about it), and I don't regret this choice for a minute.

4. Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking- This was recommended to me a while back by my psychiatrist supervisor. He is a strange-yet-brilliant man, and I am finally getting around to taking his advice. I'll let you know how it goes.

5. Twilightwatch- This is the third in the Watch series, the first two being Nightwatch and Daywatch. I originally picked up Nightwatch from the Borders "2 for 3" table because I wrote my college thesis on Russian writers under the rule of Stalin and thought it might be fun to read a modern Russian novel that had made its way into English. I bought Daywatch because I enjoyed Nightwatch on its own merits. Daywatch didn't quite live up to Nightwatch in my mind, perhaps because the former was so enjoyable that a sophomore slump was inevitable. However, it wasn't a disappointment, and I look forward to this third and final installment in the series. Of note: there is a 2004 Russian film of Nightwatch that Captain Awesome and I rented from Reel. It was changed in important ways from the book, but worth seeing.

6. Songs of the Gorilla Nation- I didn't actually buy this one for myself, though I have seen it and thought about it. This was my "graduation gift", given to me by the staff in the Psychiatry Department at the end of my fellowship last Friday. It is written by a woman with a Ph.D. and Autism. I'm very excited to read it. I'm getting more and more into the memoirs as I get older.

As always, if you have recommendations, send them my way. I do not discriminate by date of publication- 1607 and a treat is better than 2007 and illiterate crap. My brain needs filling, and I have untold hours to fill it over the next weeks and months.